My family is my inner, outer and utmost. They keep me moulded whilst I venture to mould myself. The gift of family is that they understand what sometimes no-one understands and know when to leave you alone. Family is who you can count on when in despair or when in harmony.
I have realised that I have always had a ‘sister’ to venture with and share experiences with when a drastic change happens. For example from birth to the age of 10, I was with my cousin Daisy. We were inseparable. Where she went, I followed and vice versa. We even attended the same school, until she moved to Livingstone and left me in Lusaka.
When I moved to Cape Town in 2005, I said my goodbye to Daisy but vowed to never loose contact with her. In Cape Town, I attached myself to Thami Zondo. She was the sunshine to my pit of darkness. She experienced the wild, crazy part of Cape Town with me. We moulded one another to fit together like 2 puzzle pieces. We learnt each other’s moods and mindset so to always lean on each other and not ‘step on each other’s toes’. Unfortunately in 2011 she left for JHB to live with her mother. I am happy that she was leaving to be in a happier place, but I was sad to loose an easily accessible sister and someone who provided me with a space for release. Someone who I felt just understood me.
But then last year I got back into frequent contact with my distant cousin Sequila who has been my sidekick since. We have laughed, cried and been in utter boredom together. She is my current ‘sister’. We will be even moving into a place togetherJ That makes me smile and excited about all sorts of possibilities of what could happen.
Looking back now, your ‘family’ is not narrowly defined by blood. Family are those people who care and love you so much the will go to the end of the world for you, while still keeping their distance to allow you to grow. They are those people who you can speak to you for hours on end or simply be with you in silence. Family is a space, a connection of feeling and being all of you! No holds barred.
This is the message I am hoping to potray. Do not under-estimate your best friend, your neighbor, or your workmate. They could easily be part of your family if you watch them carefully and see how much they care. Because, shockingly, humans sense of care and love once they have attached themselves to you can be of utmost wonder. For me family is important as it keeps me grounded – and allows me freedom to explore the world (in all its craziness) knowing that there is always a safe and soft landing space waiting for you. As said by Haniel Long:
“So much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family, that it remains the measure of our stability. All other pacts of love or fear derive from it and are modeled upon it.”
Haha, I didn’t think I would be this passionate about this subject…I am practically tearing. I hope everyone has that special person/s who simply fit into your puzzle as you do theirs.