As of late I’ve been giving, giving a lot of time, effort and resources to those around me. This is good in any normal situations and normally I enjoy giving to people, but as of late I have noticed that I’ve become exhausted and restless. I have no desire to do good out of wanting to do good. I feel as though I’ve exhausted my generosity and now it has changed some of my behavior.
Time, resources, energy and even sleep are amongst the things I’ve given to see other people …be better (for lack of a better way to put it). I don’t mind the sacrifice because I understand what it means to sacrifice and I know how it works. So then what’s bothering me? It’s the fact that I’ve given past my point of willingness and ability. I feel as though I am now giving because I have to, but I have nothing more to give so I am stuck in this problematic situation where I’m left to feel as though I have to give even when there’s nothing to give and its not my job to give.
Another thing is that in my philanthropist ways I’ve come to notice that I get very little gratitude for my actions. No appreciation, no acknowledgement or recognition for most of the actions I do.
Although it seems I’m complacent, I wrote about it because it made me realize some conceited things and some not so conceited things …
One of which is that I am a good friend to my friends and any who doubt this will suffer the wrath of Thor, okay maybe not... Another is that I myself am very neglectful of the things people have done for me. I am ungrateful to myself, for all I’ve achieved and all I’ve done and what I am much as who I am. I want to show a little more gratitude to myself and all the opportunities I have been given and shown. This goes for friends, family and every one else in between the human relations spectrum.
In closing I think its suffice to say its okay to give just know how this will affect you and how, much you can give. Its okay to say no for self-preservation among other personal reason. Just give to your capacity.
Also appreciate yourself and all you are and all you can give. Be thankful that you even have the capacity to give. Appreciate yourself so others can appreciate you.